Saturday 27 August 2016

From The D To Big D.

An open letter to Cowboys nation,

Hey guys, Lions fan here.  You remember us right?  The infamous pass interference, no pass interference play in the 2015 Wild Card.  Maybe you forgot about that.  You were probably too busy basking in the glow of that win.  We would too, if we ever won another playoff game.  So maybe you don’t remember that.  But I’m willing to bet you do remember us from the next week.  The next week you ask?  You weren’t even playing.  That’s ture.  But, there’s this thing about any given Sunday.  Any given Sunday, somebody can get totally Lion’d.  It just so happens, we set that ball in motion for you.  It was the fall of 2010.  Calvin Johnson caught a ball, got a touchdown…and then we learned a phrase that has sunk a thousand ships, “process of the catch”.

See the next weekend with Dez Bryant, you suffered what is known as the…How did Aaron Rodgers put it?  The Calvin Johnson rule.  It’s that one where an obvious catch isn’t obvious anymore for whatever obscure reason a ref decides.  That one stings.  It’s also your last memory of a playoff weekend you participated in.  Was a tough playoff year for both of us.  That began to usher you into this hall of shame.  Sure, you’ve had low lights before…3 words.  Romo.  Simpson.  Vacation.  Let’s leave it there.  But this is becoming uncharted territory here for you.  So let a Lions fan be your tour guide into 7-9 or 9-7 mediocrity…Just in case you’re here for a while.

I know. I know what you’re already thinking, you’re a Lions fan, what do you know?  A lifetime’s worth of pain with a few flickering moments of hope, followed by more pain, sound eerily familiar lately?  But, it’s alright.  I’ve learned to live with it, and you can too.


Point To Ponder:

It could always be worse.  I once had a Bills fan laugh at me, and mock me because my team sucked and had never even been to a Super Bowl.  I laughed and said, “that’s true.  What’s it like to go and lose 4 in a row, cause we’ve never done that either?”  Bills fans (shakes head).

Last year…No matter how bad it is to have the refs rob you on a non-sense call, at least we’re not Bengals fans, right?  Could you imagine losing a game, because your team couldn’t keep it’s composure and close out a win…Man, that had to suck.

Now before you trot out your incredible Dynasty runs, and all those trophies.  Man, those were good days for you, weren’t they?  Second best running back in the league Emmitt Smith (you really think a Lions fan isn’t bringing that up?), Troy Aikman, Michael Irving…Shout out to your glory days.  20 years since?  That’s impressive.  But, before you gloat, a quick question?  Have you ever seen a bride and groom save the top of their wedding cake for 20 years, to enjoy later?  Me either, it’s usually a year later, isn’t it?  That’s about as long as the glory lasts for football fans…Unless your a Pat’s fan, and then we never hear the end of it.  or  a Panthers…LOL, Defense wins championships.  See, Steeler’s fans are usually pretty classy about it.  They just want to win again, and so do you.

Step 1:  Accept Reality
The first step to getting help is admitting you have a problem.  The second step is admitting, it’s not all Jerry Jones.
I know, you have all these incredible pieces, and people talk about you being a contender…Dez Bryant is unreal…But He’s no Calvin Johnson.  Tony Romo, let’s seriously hope he’s ok.  He’s like Brett Favre at times, but, without the championship and Super Bowl appearances, but lately…He’s more like…He’s more like…I don’t know?  Who else get’s hurt this much and is the starting QB of a contender?  I mean, it’s not Romo’s fault.  What are you going to do when injury’s happen?  Oh, I know (waiving hand in the air).  It’s simple…Have a back up QB.  A backup you ask?  What’s that you say?  It’s what 31 other teams employee with varying degree’s of success.  You did too last year, remember?  I will totally understand if you have blocked out that much of last season.  So just accept the fact.  This may not be your year again, or next year, or the next.  Good news…There’s always Saturday.  What do I mean?  Let’s look at step 2.

Step 2:  Pick a Great College Football Team
I’m a Michigan fan, this eases the pain of another meaningless season as a Lions fan.  Good news.  When the Lions had meaningful seasons, Michigan wasn’t always at their peak.  It was a nice balance.  College Football is compelling, exciting, and well worth the investment.

Step 3: Process It
Your team just isn’t the same Old Cowboys.  But now they’re the Same Old Cowboys.  In Lions fan circles this is short formed to SOL.  Same Old Lions (SOL) is a simple phrase that sums up most seasons.

Step 4: Get excited for preseason more
Seriously, we went undefeated, the year we went 0-16.  Sometimes the preseason is the season in a shorter less painful time frame.  I went to watch the Lions get beat down last week against the Bengals…I’ve accepted the real dumpster fire possibility for this season already, and I’m coming to terms with it.  Give it a shot, won’t you?


 In closing, it sucks.  You can play “everybody hurts” if you want.  You can re-watch your VHS Sports Illustrated copy from your last Super Bowl package.  But, when the loss column starts to add up, you’ve always got a Lions fan to cheer you on after our Thanksgiving game.  Welcome to the eternal dumpster fire.  It won’t always be this bad…But it probably won’t ever be much better either.